This Fling Called Life
Excerpts

Nature’s Rising II

Ice glazed the trees, transforming them into what seems like a crystal image of themselves. A sight so surreal it was as if you were in the middle of an enchanted forest! What a spectacular and magnificent sight!

Nature’s rising outside! And it was getting it on with those trees. Oh no…the branches are losing control, cracking and falling to the ground. Ember’s favorite tree, whose perfect figure was so alluring…is still for the thrill chill. Oh please hold on. Don’t crack. Brace yourself! It will be over. This too will pass.

So it did. But some of the beautiful trees fell to the ground anyway. Ember’s favorite tree broke. The freeze did not pass soon enough; the ice melted too late. But don’t you worry. Ember’s tree weathered the storm. It was strong and mighty. For you see, it told nature, “Give it to me. You have shown your ways so many times before. I knew you then, I know you now, and I am ready to handle you now no matter what. She reflects. Yes, I broke this time, but I shall grow even stronger and more mighty next year and will endure under the pressure of your cold weight.”

…And the nature of life is back to normal once more.

Staying Alive With Your Eyes Open

Bakik stormed out of the car before it came to a complete stop. Hurriedly, he sprinted up to the lobby entrance of the off-the-highway-express hotel. Ember, who stayed in the car, could see him knocking at the door. For a while there, she thought no one would answer. Here was this young Black man in jeans and an undershirt with a really mean scowl on his face. Someone finally appeared and opened the door for him. He looked like a Black man, also. Bakik walked in and took a seat on the lobby couch, folding his arms and glaring into space. He was fuming.

It had been a rough trip, and Ember could truly say that it was the worst trip she has been on in her life.

*****

They had arrived at the train station almost 45 minutes after the train’s departure.

“See Bakik, I kept telling you that we needed to get out earlier.”

“Mom, the last time I took the train it was still here at this time” and so on. Memories were elusive and Ember could only recapture main points of their conversation. She remembered the young White couple standing outside who, upon her inquiry about the train, said they had been given misinformation about the train’s departure.

The young man stated, “The lady told us it would leave at 3:30, but when we got here at 3:15, it had just left.” Both looked so forlorn and helpless, that Ember felt sorry for them. Little did she realize that she would be the one needing pity.

She remembered the man behind the counter processing the transaction of refunding their money for the tickets. He worked slow, although he was courteous and friendly. Ember guessed his demeanor stemmed from him probably having to deal with so many folks in their predicament. She was certainly at a cross between panic and bemusement.

“By law CTX wants the train to roll out exactly at 3:15...Yes, it was packed. They held it for a few people who had reserved seats,” the representative informed.

“It was us they were waiting on!” Ember shouted. “I called and the lady did say that we needed to be here by 3:15 at the latest. It was close to 2:45 then. I knew we would need a minute bordering on a miracle to make it.”

Ember tried to place it all in perspective and gather up a good front as she made small talk with the man, but deep inside she was nervous as all get out about what they were about to embark upon. For you see, Bakik had just convinced her that they should drive because he allegedly “had” to be there on Monday as he “had so many things to do.” Before realizing it or taking the time to think it through, Ember had agreed.

So Bakik called his father to give him an update on the ordeal and the spur-of-the-moment-plan-to-drive idea. While he wa on the phone, Ember meditated and prayed silently about her decision. She only had gotten about 5 hours of sleep the night before, and she heard him come in around 4: 00 am. Knowing how little sleep he had gotten, she wondered how in the world they were going to manage.

“This is crazy!” She prayed really hard.

“Okay, Mom, you ready?”

“Not really. What did your Dad say?”

“He said we should come back home and leave out tomorrow, but I have to be there. I have lots of things to do. Look, if you don’t want to go with me, I’ll go by myself.”

“I’m thinking, I’m thinking. Let me sit down here for a second and think some more about this.” After a few moments, she stuck by he decision to drive down to Tallahassee.

They grabbed a bite to eat—first stopping at one restaurant, changing their minds about it, and deciding instead upon a fish and crab place run by Asians. Two male patrons seated adjacent said the place was once operated as a 50s-style restaurant with an automobile theme and car seats for booths. Bakik decided not to eat there either and went to grab a bite at the Wendy’s next door while Ember remained and ordered fries.

They agree to drive three to four hours each, with Ember starting. Although she had strived to pump up her spirits, attitude, mind…whatever, none of this prepared her for what was to come. Near the end of her turn, when they stopped for refueling and stretching in North Carolina, Ember realized that they had made a bad choice to drive. After Bakik made a couple of purchases, including one of those fat, scented candles, Ember continued driving the rest of the first leg.

Bakik slept during most of the time on her pillow propped against the window of the car door. He was zzed out. Close to 1:00 am, Ember’s eyelids began to get heavy, and her right hip joint was in excruciating pain. She looked out for signs along Route 95 for how many miles it was to the next lodging. Spotting a Holiday Inn Express, she capriciously opted to go there. She turned onto Exit 98. Ember glanced over at Bakik who was sound asleep and hoped he didn’t wake up until she was at the Holiday Inn. No go.

He awakened suddently and inquired, “Mom, are you okay?”

“No I’m not, so I’m pulling into a hotel a few more miles down the road.” Why did she say that? Bakik went ballistic!

“What are you doing?! We don’t need to stop! If you’re sleepy all you have to do is let me knowæI’ll drive. See, see, why can’t you sleep while I drive. Don’t you trust me? You’re just chicken, making bad decisions!” And on and on and onº For a little more, if Ember had had a gun, she probably would have shot the child for all the commotion he was making inside that car. She was just that outdone. Totally shocked and dumbfounded by Bakik’s loud tone and berating and insensitivity Ember couldn’t believe what was happening. Here she hadn’t planned on making this trip in the first place, putting her lifeætheir livesæin jeopardy all in an effort to be there for him.

How she managed to check in at the hotel is beyond her. Bakik in the meantime continued to glare into space. He was mad that Ember extended their time on the road to stop and catch some sleep in a bed instead of sleeping on a pillow propped against the door window. To supposedly prove that he was not to be outdone, he shouted,

“I ain’t going in there!” I’m sleepin’ in the car!

“Okay you do that!”

And so he did. He slept in the car while Ember made a concerted effort to sleep in a bed She must admit though that she did peer through a tiny opening in the curtains of her room to check on him out there in the car. But she really couldn’t see much of anything. All she was able to decipher was his head leaning back on the headrest close to 6:00 am. Astoundingly, the boy stuck to his guns and did not come in. He did give a few hard knocks to her door right at her 4-hour limit she claimed for rest. Whether she really dozed or slept is obfuscated. Once they managed to get back on the road some 25 miles out, she had to turn around and go back to retrieve her pillow. Thank goodness he raised no cane over this and was in the silently fuming mode the complete turnaround time. Did they lose ground! At that point, who cared. By then, (top of the morning at 6:34 am) both were punch drunk. As she returned to the car with her pillow she asked him, “So who’s driving?”

“You are.” Bakik insisted that she drive the rest of the way. “That’s what you said after commanding that we stop at the hotel,” he declared.

As it turned out, Ember drove most of the way. Commenting that her eyelids were heavy and she was exceedingly tired after passing Florida’s welcome sign, he took over the wheel with no objection. They arrived in Tallahassee around 12:20 pm.

It was a rough trip, any way you cut it. True, Ember had accepted the challenge of going along to be supportive, but only because she couldn’t bare the thought of her “precious, immature young man” going it solo. Similarly, flashes of J.F.K., Jr. and his wife and sister in law haunted her. Even more, thoughts of that woman who stopped her car on the side of the highway when her teenage son and daughter were arguing in the car and the daughter was hit and killed by a hit-and-run driver haunted her. Was she blindly going along for whatever reason, when there were other more sane options? What disturbed her most, however, was that proverbial question: “What have I done to create this mess?” It was an an eye-opening experience and it helped her to see what she needed to doæshe had to to stop being so obsessed on living for Bakik. He was driving her life. Had she done what dear Aunt Mammie told Ma Beryl to do with her children?

“Give ‘em to God first. When you don’t, you can lose ‘em.” Ember lamented that maybe she did right after his birth, but then she snatched him back somewhere along the way.

For him to want to drive straight through was stupid. For him to think that she would be so willing to sleep while he drove with no one sitting shotgun was disconcerting. If he acted like this with his mother, what is to say for someone who hadn’t known him that long. Perhaps her being there for him and providing support financially and otherwise was no longer the solution here. Giving him the best schools, giving him time, giving him thingsºgivingº givingº

*****

It’s amazing how things ran much smoother once arriving in Tallahassee. Negotiating business over his apartment, shopping for housewares, meeting some of his friends, eating out, taking care of the usual business and even taking pictures on her last day there, which was her intended order of business for making the trip in the first place.

Ember couldn’t escape the nagging thought of the trip. As far as she’s concerned, a piece of herself and their relationship was left behind that time in Florida. Whether it could be recovered and things would return to normal remained to be seen. (Regardless, she still loved the boy of course.)

“Mom, no matter what happened, you know I love you. Listen to me, I do love you.”

*****

“How in the world could he make those demands to drive straight through as though you were some buddy of his!?” Nyris posed during their conversation the following Saturday.

“Its not just about you, so don’t you dare beat yourself up over this. It’s other influences and the social piece that Bakik has seen, some of which are his friends blatantly treating their parents with disrespect. Their parents were giving, giving, givingº including a lot of leeway. And they were not about to ‘rock the boat’ as you did by stopping at the hotel to get some rest. He must see the error of his ways. Otherwise, it could get into the abusive category, which is what you went through on that road.”

Then she emphasized, “You could have taken the car from him, drove him to the nearest airport and driven right back home. Girl, that’s what I would have done.”

They say hindsight is perfect vision.

As JC pointedly expressed, “As resistive, upset and angry as they may be, children must control their tone. Certain boundaries can’t be crossed.” It may have been that ‘only child syndrome’æa matter of getting his own way. An only child has no other children to buffer his or her actions and that proves to be a very difficult situation for everybody.”